Rav Chaim zt”l’s Last Answers to Shidduch Questions

A woman who teaches in a Beis Yaakov recently got engaged.  Her husband wishes to move to Lakewood from New York.  She had signed a contract that she would teach throughout the year.  Is she permitted to break the contract or must she adhere to it?  What if it is liable to affect the Shidduch?

ANSWER:  She must ask permission from the school.  If they do not agree, she may not disregard a written and signed contract.

If a young lady feels that the young man she has dated is not for her – does she have a Mitzvah of V’ahavta laraycha kamocha to suggest a friend of hers to the shadchan or is this lacking in tznius?

ANSWER:  It is a great Mitzvah

In America, some of the communities pay Shadchanim from Lakewood addition money to suggest shidduchim for girls from their own community.  Is this correct hishtadlus or not?  It is possible that this can cause young women from other communities to be lower on the list.

ANSWER:  There is no need [to pay extra] as shidduchim are all in the hands of heaven – whatever was decreed was what will be.

What segulah is there for an older single girl to find a Shidduch?

ANSWER: She should daven and then daven again.

What segulah is there for an older single man to find a Shidduch?

ANSWER: As above.

In America, people are very concerned about looks.  For a young man who is slightly overweight – is it proper hishtadlus to lose weight?

ANSWER:  He should do whatever he wishes.

Is it proper hishtadlus to whiten one’s teeth at a dentist to find a shidduch?

ANSWER: As above.

Is it worthwhile to pay a shadchan just to suggest a date – even if they do not end up marrying?

ANSWER: There is no need, but he may if he so wishes.

There are young women who choose a seminary that is not ideal for them, but they do so in order to get a better shidduch.  Is this proper Hishtadlus?

ANSWER: It is not worthwhile, everything is from Heaven.