Rav Chaim zt”l Answered: Shabbos or the Non-Jewish Girlfriend?
Picture a non-observant young man with his entire life ahead of him. Nachal lives in Teverya with his father, mother and two brothers. He engages in water activities and has a girlfriend.
Nachal discovers, however, that his girlfriend is not Jewish. It bothers him slightly, but not that much.
Teverya is one of the four holiest of cities in Judaism alongside Jerusalem, Tzfas, and Hebron. It has a Kollel located in the Nof Kinneret section.
The 43 avreichim of Kollel M’tzur Dvash not only study Torah day and night, but they also engage in Kiruv Rechokim twice each week. The Kollel was launched by the well-known talmid chochom, Rav Asher Breslauer shlita, at the behest of both Rav Chaim Kanievsky zt”l and Rav Gershon Edelstein shlita.
Nachal’s two younger brothers had become Baalei Teshuva through the Kiruv Rechokim program. He too was feeling the desire to make the plunge.
But, alas, Nachal had that other issue going on. He attended three full learning sessions and could no longer hold out. He told the Kollel Avreich who was studying with him:
“Rabbi, I cannot do both. I can commit to breaking up with her, or I can commit to observing Shabbos. Which option should I pick? I will do whichever one you recommend.”
The Avreich posed the question to his Rosh Kollel, Rav Asher Breslauer posed the question to Rav Chaim Kanievsky zt”l.
THE TWO SIDES
Before we get to Rav Chaim’s answer, let’s explore the two sides of the issue. On the one hand, it is recognized that one of the greatest challenges to Klal Yisroel in modern times is that of Jewish intermarriage.
According to the 2020 Pew Report on Jewry in the United States, the intermarriage rate among all US Jews who were married between the years 2010 and 2020 is 61%. Among the non-Orthodox and non-affiliated Jews, it is even higher, an astounding 72%.
APATHY
And then there is the apathy. Only 34% of American Jews, according to the report, said it is very important that their grandchildren are Jewish. This too is very concerning. Marriage to a non-Jew entirely stops Jewish continuity.
ON THE OTHER HAND
On the other hand, Shabbos has always been viewed as the symbol or flag of the Jewish nation. Just as patriots look at their flag as more than a mere dyed cloth with fancy designs, so too is Shabbos viewed in the eyes of the Jewish people. It is a sign of our deep belief in Hashem’s absolute Oneness – He created the world and all that is in it, He is the One and Only, the source of everything, the One who rewards good and punishes evil. Ain Od Milvado.
THE SOURCE OF BLESSING
In the mid 1500’s, Rav Shlomo Alkebetz zatzal lived in one of the other four of the holiest of Jewish cities – Tzfas, or Safed in its anglicized form. He wrote the following words, describing Shabbos – “ki hi mekor habracha – Shabbos is the source of all blessing.”
The Chofetz Chaim understood these words in the most literal of senses and would often advise people who were struggling with various issues to look at where in their lives they can enhance their Shabbos observance.
WHAT DID RAV CHAIM ANSWER?
Rav Chaim answered the Rosh Kollel’s question by telling him that Nachal should be told to keep Shabbos. What was his rationale? It was not expressed.
What was the end result? Nachal did commit to Shabbos observance, he began studying even more. Now, all three brothers study vigorously twice each week with the Avreich.
Eventually, Nachal himself realized the importance of Shabbos and his Torah heritage and broke up with his non-Jewish girlfriend. Perhaps this was the cheshbon of Rav Chaim zt”l.